Mind constantly twisting back and forth
Skipping between ideas of a loners worth
Lonely with a million people around
Mind screaming loud but will they hear the sound?
Love is conditional, happiness is fake
The world, it’s selfish, lies upon a stake
Choice is non-existent when you live in paradise
Only emotional fear awaits, no escape until she dies
No use in comfort if you live in a lie
Would you rather the pain, it’s a pleasure to die
Death of expectations, renewal of hope
Dismissal of faith, there’s no way to cope
Pain turns to poison and smiling gets old
Warmth inside escapes, replaced with the cold
The depth of despair, logic can’t be reversed
Caring too much to put yourself first
To be true to oneself is a feat when we are all the same
It’s time to breathe, to live, the beginning of being sane.
my old thoughts are starting to return again
where days turn to nights yet it’s all the same
where my words express how I really think
yet covered around people with a smile and a blink
where nihilism is suddenly appealing
and nothing exists or matters but the ceiling
where life is just a cycle living for others
decisions based on friends, family, even acquaintances
it’s a lonely life, thinking nothing but despair
the back up of happiness waiting, if I decide to care
sometimes I wonder, is this all for nothing?
will my words ever mean something?
will my words impact a mind?
open up vaults, and release the inner kind?
will meaning be attached and memories made?
starting special things and foundations laid?
will my words be imprinted in memories?
quoted amongst friends and enemies?
and as I write I think,
opening up my soul to the very brink,
‘does recognition mean my worth?’
the numbers on the screen tumble down to earth
once something is shattered it will not be replaced
that crumbled piece of paper will never be smooth again
your soul, once crushed, is gone
they say scars eventually heal and make you strong
but another mark on your body does not belong
the glass is shattered, it’s gone forever, not replaceable
just broken and lost
that’s your soul. it’s gone.
those lines on your wrist don’t make you strong
just a reminder of all the crap that’s going on
and assurance that you still belong
in this world of living where you are not alive
your mind is dead and your life keeps going on, no evidence except for the pain which reminds you dear, you are afraid
and i know you are, yes we all are
but it flares up in you
the embers glow and the wind it blows and starts a fire within your heart once again
the water doesn’t put it out
but the pain is joy as you are alive
and the hurt is feeling like you always have
and losing yourself in a world beyond, out the window,
daydreaming of a place with nothing to fear
just lose yourself and you’ll never be there
just your deceptive thoughts and the wishes they bring
have you ever seen a wish come true my friend?
they aren’t real like those shooting stars, so be gone with them
as your life
you talk to stop the sound
of your own voice inside
clawing, bruising, teasing
undermining ego and pride
it’s all a fickle act
simple, deceptive trickery
conquer the world alone
surrounded in a cloud of mystery.
one step forward
back a push a nudge
lock and key edge forward stay still
comes closer jumps with joy
back to the hole
the hermit mind
drawn to nothing
we sit atop giants
that soon become ourselves
imitating the rest of society
time and again placed on bookshelves
inspiring to conspire the world
losing amidst crowds of equivalents
yet again the mistakes repeat
please, play that track of ambivalence