I wonder what it’s like to die
as your last breath shatters the room
did you feel the pain, did you drift away
like a carnival child’s balloon?
was it your destiny for us
to be crying and screaming at the sky
as your body laid limp in her arms
as I told my brother you’d died?
and the flowers surround the house
wilting away in our pain
for the sky is turning black
as I declare myself perfectly sane.
the air felt intoxicated, swirling around his face
it was tense and silent and it felt like a desolate place
doing normal errands, not thinking about the news
holding back from his children, as they were too precious to lose
his eldest daughter noticed how quiet it had been
tried to figure out what at the doctor he had seen
her mind spun around, of confusion and how long
but she knew in her heart something was very wrong
she grabbed his hand and forced him to sit down
the worried look in his eyes settled in with a frown
and as he mumbled those words to her, he didn’t pretend
the tears glistened in his eyes as he wasn’t sure of the end
“it’s back” he said, and encircled her with an embrace
she was crying as she didn’t want to see her father in pain
now tears that swam over these weeks were no longer alive
just as cold as his body in february
just as cold as our hearts in february
just as dead as our souls in february.