Sadness

5th April, 2017 – 2:34am

my old thoughts are starting to return again
where days turn to nights yet it’s all the same
where my words express how I really think
yet covered around people with a smile and a blink
where nihilism is suddenly appealing
and nothing exists or matters but the ceiling
where life is just a cycle living for others
decisions based on friends, family, even acquaintances
it’s a lonely life, thinking nothing but despair
the back up of happiness waiting, if I decide to care

15th June, 2015 – 12:12am

I wonder what it’s like to die
as your last breath shatters the room
did you feel the pain, did you drift away
like a carnival child’s balloon?

was it your destiny for us
to be crying and screaming at the sky
as your body laid limp in her arms
as I told my brother you’d died?

and the flowers surround the house
wilting away in our pain
for the sky is turning black
as I declare myself perfectly sane.